My name is Greet and I am a 51-year-old teacher from Belgium. I am married and have 2 adult daughters. I was happy and active until 2020. I got Covid and fell into disarray. The menopausal transition probably also caused my crash. Exhausted and crying, I allowed myself to be admitted in the hospital.

First, I was given escitalopram (Lexapro). I reacted very badly to that physically. I was trembling and had constant diarrhea. I felt even more miserable than I already was. Then the doctor decided to give me Cymbalta. That night I didn't sleep a wink, my pupils were big, I saw flashes of light and the worst part was that I felt dead from emotion. I asked for my discharge and stopped CT on this medication. All hell broke loose.

After 2 months I could cry again, but the akathisia was hellish. I became suicidal and had myself readmitted. This was followed by 2.5 years of all types of antidepressants, 4 admissions, ECT's, and TMS. The mental and physical side effects were unbearable each time.

Eight months ago, I decided enough was enough as I found out I had sexual dysfunction and I stopped all medication. I am now a shadow of the cheerful woman I once was. I am emotionally dead and have serious cognitive and physical problems. I am barely able to do my housework anymore. I lost my job and my entire social life.

I have severe insomnia and am never relaxed. I have so many symptoms that I didn't have before the pills. Blurred vision, spasms, no appetite, pressure in my head, no concentration... I feel physically elderly. I don't understand how this is possible. From a lively wife, mother, and teacher with a perfect relationship to a lot of nothing. I should never have gone through this ordeal.

I encounter misunderstandings everywhere and even my family thinks I just became depressed. They are angry that I don't want to be 'helped' anymore. I lock myself at home and have no zest for life anymore. I can't even feel my terrors. I can't cry and feel no empathy. I have little sense of time anymore.

A hug, a gift, the sun, music... nothing brings joy anymore. I have no focus or motivation and I don't feel satisfied with anything. I feel like living dead. I haven't felt normal for a minute in over 3 years. I spend my days on the sofa, scrolling on my smartphone. The physical tension is unbearable.

I desperately need help and recognition.. I'm afraid I'll lose my husband too. We were a beautiful couple. Now we live completely disconnected. My old parents need help, I can't feel compassion or help them. My children are sad and disappointed and I am so cold. I can't live like this much longer.

Psychiatry has blood on its hands. PSSD is becoming an epidemic. So many lives completely destroyed. It is inconceivable that no warning is given about this. I didn't know that pills could permanently damage me and ruin my life. Why do victims have to pay for research into a cure themselves?

There is so much money for cancer research, but we are completely left to our own devices. Why is this never talked about in the mainstream media? We urgently need help. Considering my age, that's probably too late for me. My life feels like it's over."